Last night I introduced the idea that the three paths to reconciliation with God were actually paths to a happier, more meaningful life. This morning I want to talk about the first of these paths, that of Teshuvah.
Teshuvah means literally, ‘returning’. One who turns from sin and embraces Torah is someone making Teshuvah. When we make amends, we engage in the practice of Teshuvah.
If you take a moment to look at your prayerbook, you’ll note that it is named “Gates of Repentance” or “Shaarei Teshuvah” So clearly, Teshuvah, or Repentance is a big deal this time of year.
What is Teshuvah?
Returning. Coming Home. Getting back on track. Refocusing. Recommitting. Rehabilitating your mind.
In the orthodox world, they have a name for someone who becomes observant. We call such a person a ‘baal teshuvah’ a master of returning.
I do not accept the idea that only orthodox Jews are capable of this returning. If I did, how could I stand here before you and pray this morning? It is somewhat more challenging for us, to be sure, because our religion is often described by our own brothers and sisters as “Reform-we don’t do that”. But that’s a different sermon. The fact is, to be a Reform Jew is to balance modernity and scientific inquiry with tradition and differentiate between discipline and superstition.
And it is important to teach you that the word Teshuvah has another meaning; it also means “a response”. Questions have responses; calls have responses. When someone asks me for a rabbinical answer to a problem, my response is technically called a “Teshuvah.” And When God calls Avraham, Avraham makes Teshuvah, he responds, he says “here I am”
Our individual Teshuvah is not just about repentance, turning from sin. It is turning toward something; turning back to respond and responding above all to the challenges of life. We respond to life’s challenges, we make Teshuvah, with Torah, with Judaism.
We do this so that our lives can be lived with purpose, meaning and joy. So that we and our friends and family can be as happy as possible. So that we can leave the world a better place for having lived in it.
To be a Jew, is to believe you are here to do a job. And Teshuvah is a critical part of that job. Teshuvah means you care about whether or not you are doing a good job. Teshuvah means you take your job seriously. Teshuvah means you aren’t stealing from your employer. And I’ll talk more about that on Yom Kippur, when I address the concept of Tzedakah, or Righteousness.
The process of Teshuvah is a life-changing process. Last year, I spoke about this time of year being an ‘intervention’ of sorts, and you may recall that I referred to Teshuvah as ‘taking a fearless moral inventory’. And indeed, that is a large part of the process.
We need to be willing to drop our ego, look at ourselves and our failings and accept them. There’s a reason we do this together, publicly. This is an example of peer pressure being used for good.
So let’s explore the process of Teshuvah as our tradition explains it, and see how it is a practice that has benefits and value far beyond ten days a year.
And let’s look at Teshuvah first as it happens between human beings. The object of Teshuvah here is to heal relationships, to strengthen community and to ‘return’ to a state of balance and harmony. As we read every year, we have to sort out our human relationships before we can stand before God.
How does one achieve Teshuvah? There are four parts.
Leaving the sin–that is, to stop doing whatever it is that is wrong. If you are hurting someone’s feelings or lying to them or taking advantage of them, stop. You can’t repent of a behavior while it continues.
Accepting responsibility; don’t blame the other person for your choices, or circumstances for your actions. Own the choices and the actions we make and take. Otherwise how do we have any power to change. We have to take responsibility.
Voicing your repentance; the sages were quite clear on this; we need to say what it is we have done wrong and that we accept our responsibility for it. We need to name what it is we are repenting for. It’s hard to do, but the path of Teshuvah demands we be courageous.
Demonstrating restraint:
Finally, the proof is given when the opportunity to repeat our mistake presents itself and we are able to avoid doing so. We can only really demonstrate our repentance when we have the chance to do what we have done in the past and we don’t do it.
Yet these four steps we take are meaningless without the other; the person who has been wronged. And here we find the secret of Teshuvah is not necessarily our regret or repentance but rather our ability to forgive!
The first step in our own Teshuvah is granting forgiveness to others. Which is often much harder than admitting our own failings. Nevertheless, we cannot hope to be redeemed ourselves if we are unable or unwilling to forgive someone else.
The Talmud teaches “Whoever is compassionate to their fellow human beings, Heaven is compassionate to them, but whoever is not compassionate to their fellow human beings, Heaven is not compassionate towards them.”
We are also forbidden to seek vengeance or bear a grudge. What is the difference between vengeance and a grudge? Let’s say you want to borrow my lawnmower and I say “No, I don’t think so”. The next day I want to borrow your weedwacker and you say “No, I don’t think so, because you didn’t lend me your lawnmower”. That’s vengeance.
Same situation, but this time when I ask to borrow your weedwacker, you say “Sure, because I’m not a jerk like you, I let my friends borrow things they need.” That’s a grudge.
Neither is seen as worthy behavior. Torah tells us to take the high road every time. Even though it’s hard. And beware of praying for harm to befall others in a spirit of vengeance. “Rejoice not when thy opponent falls or happy when they stumble, for God may take notice of it and turn His anger away from them.” When you fail to forgive and bear a grudge and take pleasure in other people’s misfortune, you become the bad guy. And Judaism is never about being the bad guy.
Life is challenging enough without carrying a bag of resentments and bad feelings around. Teshuvah is a remedy for these things; it allows us to make amends with each other and save our energy for the task at hand.
And in order to be ready and able to serve the greater good, we need to pause every so often and make an accounting. This is called in Hebrew “Heshbon Nefesh” or ‘spiritual accounting’. Now, I know we have several CPA’s in the congregation and they might say ‘but ALL accounting is spiritual’. Still, we’re talking about an emotional and spiritual checkbook that we balance. We need to see who we owe and who we should be ready to receive. And remember it’s not supposed to be easy. Forgiveness is harder than asking for forgiveness much of the time.
So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not saying what someone did or did not do is ‘okay.‘ Forgiveness is not excusing someone’s poor behavior, cruelty, thoughtlessness or carelessness. Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you. Forgiveness means you are waiving any claim to personal retribution from that point on. The matter is closed. You aren’t seeking further remedy from them. You don’t expect any more from them. And you will not persist in prosecuting them for their wrongdoing in private or public. Forgiveness is saying “the matter is closed”. The past is past.
Forgiveness isn’t free, mind you. Nobody expects you to forgive someone who hasn’t apologized, although the saints and holy men and women of our tradition certainly did so. You get bonus points if you can do so.
We have an obligation to confront those who have hurt us directly. We have an obligation to apologize and make amends to those we have hurt once we know about it. And we have an obligation to forgive those who apologize and seek to make amends.
That’s it. That’s Teshuvah. And while it seems simple when put that way, I can tell you that not only am I talking about it a long time this morning, but there are volumes and volumes and volumes written on the subject. So it’s simple in theory only.
The Spiritual benefit of Teshuvah is found in the action of forgiveness; in allowing ourselves to forgive despite our desire for justice we become more like God. We come closer to God. So in large part it isn’t our Teshuvah that allows us to approach and be reconciled with God, it is our capacity to Forgive. As we strengthen our personal attribute of Mercy, we do honor to the True Judge.
And lest we doubt God’s mercy, it is taught that “Though 999 angels press for condemnation and one alone plead for mercy on our behalf, God tips the scales in favor of the one”
When we are able to make Teshuvah as individuals, which we just learned isn’t really possible because it takes two to Teshuvah, we can focus on communal and national Teshuvah.
And to be sure, there is much that our communities and nations need to make Teshuvah over. But before we can effect change on a civic or wider level, we need to get our own accounts in order. We need to be able to live the principle of Teshuvah out in our own lives and in our congregation. Then we can stand as an example to others and lead the way to a better society.
The sins we commit are often called Hitim, the word for “arrows” as in an arrow that has missed its mark. In such a case,the archer must refocus and take more care, pay more attention to what he is doing. And in the midst of a fight, the archer really has to return, to make Teshuvah, because his work is particularly important when fighting off a threat.
And when we speak of Israel, that is where we find ourselves. Perhaps Israel is not a focus of yours right now, and I say to you I understand why that might be. But you and I do not have the luxury of being careless right now. We as Jews are obligated to remain focused, to take stock of the situation and to pay attention to what our efforts are driving at. The future of the state of Israel must be of prime concern to each of us because whether you want to believe it or not the fact is that our liberty as Jews and our security as Americans is undeniably linked to the success or failure of the Jewish national state. I believe that once we have done the work of local Teshuvah, in our homes and families and synagogues, nowhere are we called to return more than to the task of building up, defending and guiding the continued struggle for a nation among the family of nations.
The recent unilateralist campaign undertaken by the Palestinian Authority is not the problem, although it is unhelpful and provocative. The problem is that you and I are disengaged. We’re on the bench and we need to get in the fight. And it is a fight for peace, make no mistake, but it is a fight and we aren’t fighting hard enough.
For starters, I expect many of you to take one of the flyers the Houston Rabbinical Association has put together with the assistance of the Houston Federation. Get yourself more educated about the situation. And then start paying attention. Make Teshuvah to the cause of Jewish liberation. And in doing so, find another layer of meaning and purpose to your being alive at this point in time, in this situation, during this chapter of our peoples’ history. Sieze it and be part of it. You are here for a reason. You are here for many reasons, and Teshuvah is the proof of that. For Teshuvah has no meaning for people who have no purpose, no role, no ambition, no soul. And you have all of them because the God that formed you put them there.
There are other areas in which we as a community need to make Teshuvah, but I’m focused on Israel right now, because as Hillel put it, If I am not for my own, who will be? And now, we focus on the sound of the Shofar, calling us to Teshuvah, to healing, to wholeness, and to action.
Shana Tova.
